Wednesday, August 1, 2007

A surgery surprise !!

As of last week I was focusing on rehab for my hip. On Wednesday evening I visited with my hip doctor, Dr Phillipon, to discuss some very specific and pointed questions about my rehabilitation. Following that discussion, he decided with my knee doctor, Dr Steadman, to perform bilateral surgery -- right knee, left hip -- on Friday morning, a day neither were scheduled to do surgery. They are dedicated fellows. I had two of the most renowned surgereons in the world trouble shooting my condition, following a period of frustration of them not working together. Now, I am recovering with all the post recovery accouterments -- CPM machine (Continuous Perpetual Motion Machine), foot pumps, and copious medications to control blood coagulation, pain, inflammation, infection, sleep, etc......

Things related to my rehabilitation are akin to a glacier. Things move very slowly, and then, in a flash large sweeping events happen. It is mind blowing.

My family arrived from California the night I received the news to have surgery. I felt badly for them. We had such plans to go out and do things in the surrounding mountains, but alas that got postponed. And, I got frustrated. Being laid up and not in control are not my best suits. I have discovered that I really am limited in my ability to let go, not have things in the ways I am comfortable, and asking for help directly. A couple days post surgery I tried to maintain some normalcy and do/arrange things such as outings and group events, but that resulted in exhaustion and anger. Ultimately, it was counterproductive to the whole recovery process. So, after a 36 hour period, starting on this Monday afternoon of lashing out at the world, bemoaning my state of being (this is my 9th surgery in 10years), and being mean spirited with my friends and family I have pulled out of my funk. That was principally because my boyfriend said he might as well go home if I was not going to accept his help and push him away.

Ahhh, being human is quite an interesting experience.

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