rough road -- many questions

Today, was a more challenging day than I expected. Physical Therapy was difficult. My hip, 20months post surgery, was not terribly happy, nor were my knees. I had a long hard talk with the doctor's nurse and my PT team, and we are getting closer, it seems to let go of the necrotic hip. That was really tough to hear, although, I, somewhere in my heart know that is what may be necessary. (I don't even want to say it outloud).

The Trip to Vail

I arrived in Vail Valley, Colorado over a month ago, from Monterey, California to focus on medical rehabilitation for my hip and knee to avoid further surgeries. I have had 7 surgeries in 10 years to save my hip and knee joints due to the diagnosis of osteonecrosis or avascular necrosis. I am a 43 year old professional woman who has recently gone on disability. My primary orthopeadic doctors have been here in Vail Colorado for several years. They focus on "conservative" joint preserving techniques. They and their staff, especially the physical therapists are some of the most inspiring, talented, and motivated people I have ever worked with. That is why I have chosen to invest, my concept of a small fortune on stabilizing my poor sad left hip. I still may end up with hip and knee surgery if the rehab does not work. But this is all apart of the story. How it all got this complicated I am not sure, but it certainly is.

It has been long journey to come to this point. Actually, the whole journey has been a series of mini journeys. This segment is more dramatic, definitive, and focused following a couple failed attempts to stabilize my left hip. This segment started after nearly 18 months of struggling on and off crutches following a complicated hip surgery, dealing with a highly stressful changing professional front, and traveling to India for business. Shortly after the India trip, I ran into "a wall" that forced me to take stock and lay down the gauntlet. Sometimes you cannot have it all. Sometimes, you need to make choices, although they are not the "preferred ones" and face the reality of your situation. And, so, begins the middle of my journey.

I left California, my boyfriend, his kids, my dog, my house, my job on hold, in my pickup truck to complete this chapter and decide what surgeries or not are needed immediately, to face how I will move through the world once things stabilize, and ultimately to reinvent or rediscover myself.

And, so begins my written part of my story.