I have been on several doctor appointments over the last two months. Today was a follow-up with a standup local surgeon. There are some things that make me feel very comfortable and others that make me puzzle.
Today he determined that I have tennis elbow, or some other overuse disorder of my elbows. I have problems in my right shoulder that may or may not need surgery. I have bilateral knee pain, with predominant right knee swelling due to osteoarthritis, secondary to avascular necrosis (osteonecrois, avn, on, what have you). I have left hip pain due to avascular necrosis.
On the whole he made sense, up to the point when he said, on the one hand, I should not be pulling weeds, or other such work, and on the other hand, that he was not comfortable taking on the paperwork or bureaucratic management of my LTD. When he asked if I was working, I said that my body has become a full time job. And, that I cannot imagine how I could take on anything else. This truly has become a full-time job -- from Head to Toe, Knee to Elbow, Hip to Shoulder and whatever junctures inbetween. Wow. I really am, still, overwhelmed how to manage this process. it is hard to keep a business mind about it. But, I made a plan to follow through with two local orthos and try to create a support matrix here, at home.
Sometimes I think I am too deep and critical it makes we rattle my head. Sometimes I wonder if I am making this complex. I am sure, sometimes I am. On the other hand there are times that I think that is cannot be as complex it seems. I really am trying to focus on creating a local team of doctors to manage my case. I have been steadily working on this since postponing the hip surgery, due to the constellation of medical issues that cropped up. The progress seems so increbily slow. Despite my incredible frustration I am sticking to the plan. I do ultimately need a relief team. I feel like I have been in the trenches too long by myself. I am really tired.
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